Let's Get Together:Finding Your People

If you follow me on social media at all, you probably know that I got to enjoy the Women In Publishing Summit for the first time this year. March 6-9 over 200 people met virtually to listen to speakers talking about writing, editing, publishing, cover design, marketing your book (and yourself), and pretty much anything else you can imagine in the publishing world.

And there was networking! People who had been attending for years advised first timers like me on how to get the most out of the experience. We broke into virtual coffee rooms to meet new people and make new friends. Many times I had people tell me they had made friends at their first session that they were still close to today- even meeting in person when they could.

So why would a group of so many (mostly) self-proclaimed introverts love meeting others even more than attending sessions that were going to help them hone their craft? 

Community.

By nature people, even shy introverts, are community oriented. We just need to find “our people.” But as Lisa Gardner recently pointed out, your family (or your furry animal companion) doesn’t want to hear about “the merits of plotting versus pantsing” or whatever other writing issues you’re thinking about as often as you want to talk about them. And they generally can’t give you advice the way a writing community can. But find your people —be it two or ten—and you’re good.

One of the WIP sessions I attended was podcaster/editor/community facilitator Tara Whitaker’s “The Case for Community: Why Editors and Freelancers Need to Find Their People.” It was an amazing talk and Tara really put into words what I hadn’t managed to explain to myself.

For people like writers and editors, even those of us who are naturally introverts, community is still necessary because we need people who are going to support us. WIP might call the sessions “Networking Sessions” but it wasn’t about meeting people to see what they could do for you.

It was about finding like-minded people you connected with because you were interested in similar things. We wanted to find, as Tara put it, “our people.”

People who were going to be excited about the same things we were excited about, because we knew how hard the accomplishments were.

People who understood what trying for certain goals meant and would be supportive.

People who would be in various places in the same journey you were taking and could share their experiences.

Those are the people we want around us in our community. People who understand when we say “I’m offline for a week to meet a deadline” because they’ll do the same thing.

Last year I met a few editors online. We were all starting our businesses and dealing with different versions of imposter syndrome. It started as new editors trying to figure out the best ways to improve our websites and asking each other technical questions we hadn’t figured out on our own yet.

But Anisa and Meera are now good friends and their support and friendship means the world to me, both for editing and life in general. We learn from each other constantly. I told them about the WIP Summit and they both ended up attending. They are much more tech-savvy and adventurous than I am and help me sort out new programs that might work for me. We’ll hold each other accountable when we need someone to push us to reach a goal.

Sometimes, whether we’re writing or editing, the scariest thing is feeling like we are doing it alone. My friend Anisa described it this way: “When I decided to start my own copy editing and proofreading business, I didn’t know anyone else who was doing this. I felt like I was creating something in a vacuum, and desperately wanted someone to bounce around ideas with. Meeting Anne and Meera was like the sun coming out on a cloudy day! My new friendships with them have opened up the world of book editing for me. I am so glad that we all decided to start supporting each other!”

So if you’re just starting out and currently standing in that vacuum, where do you find your community?

As for so many things, the answer is: it depends.

Are you around a college? They may have creative writing groups connected with the library or English department. Usually, you don’t have to be attending the school to check out the groups, but ask the librarian. They always know what’s going on for fun stuff like that.

Frequently local coffee shops or book shops will have poetry meetings, writing workshops, writing groups, or (for book stores) book signings. Check them out! Those are great places to meet other people who may be into similar things. And authors at book signings are all about supporting other writers and answering questions.

I worked at an indie bookstore on Long Island for years and whether it was an A-list star author or a local author signing their first book, they were always happy to have people come to their events and talk to them about writing.

While Book Revue closed, manager Mallory Braun now owns The Next Chapter and if you check out their website you’ll see she and the staff do tons to support writers. Don’t live on Long Island? Doesn’t mean your local indie doesn’t do something similar- or might be open to something if you asked them!

And of course, there is social media. Be careful there, since it is a mixed bag of super positive people who only want to support each other and others who do their best to be toxic.

I’ve found the #writerscommunity on Threads unbelievably positive and supportive, and so many lovely people there are willing to have genuine conversations about the good and the rough when it comes to writing. They offer advice and support each other. If you’re reading this blog you’ve probably found me on social media. Follow me and I’ll let you  know when next year’s WIP summit is and you’ll meet loads of wonderful people there.

I think it is important to remember to ask yourself: what do you want from the community you are looking for? New friends? People to tell you “congratulations” when you post that you’ve done something great? People with more experience who may be able to answer questions you might have? All of the above? More? Remember, like with all things, when you put in the positive, you’ll get the positive back. 

And we can all use that!